I’m not a big fan of seeing failure as an end result. Fortunately I’ve learned to reframe failure to mean “an undesirable result that wasn’t what I was aiming for.” That way, when I faceplant, I don’t stay there. I get up and move on to the next faceplant. 😛
This blog is a self-indulgent experiment right now. After my last post I started taking it too seriously. Naturally, it caused a faceplant. If it wasn’t for this post, March would be a total bust. I mean, sure, I’ve started MANY posts this month. Then I over-analyzed and deleted every one before they were finished.
The moments after I do too much thinking are usually when I fuck up. This time, I think I just lost track of my why.
So, why am I writing a blog?
Because Scott told me to and I finally listened.
I haven’t found my niche yet. Obviously. I mean, what is it that I want to tell the world? Where am I trying to take people?
There seems to be a big push to help people find work they love. I love that! While I think it is very important, however, I want to push people to be more authentic in general. Looking at my pet peeves, I think the common thread is a lack of authenticity.
I think it all comes down to how I want people to unapologetically be who they are. I want to encourage them to take chances and be themselves. Not just when it’s easy or convenient, but all of the time.
Right now, the point of this blog is to tell stories, talk shit, share words, and hope that someday I will do for someone what many others have done for me over the years. I want someone who’s feeling ridiculous and completely alone to read something I’ve written, say, “holy shit! She gets it. I thought I was the only one who [insert random weirdness here]!” and feel better about life.
One of my proudest moments happened many years ago. I was giving a fellow student a ride home after class and she thanked me for something I hadn’t given much thought to until then. She thanked me for asking insane questions in class. She said that by watching me ask questions that at least a few other people (probably many more) wanted to ask, but were too afraid to ask, she learned that it wasn’t scary after all. She said she was even trying it in some of her other classes and having a lot of fun. We talked about how she was probably inspiring other people to do the same thing.
Scary things aren’t quite as scary when other people do them first.
Sometimes that’s all it takes to inspire me to action. Sometimes I think of something that seems a little intimidating to me, and I realize there are people who find that thing terrifying. So I do it first. I get the benefit of the rush, and the satisfaction of showing other people that it’s okay. And if I faceplant, I get back up and show them that life goes on. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll go first someday, too.
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