It’s not over. I’m not giving up.

In May, I started toying with the idea of going back to work.  Finding another 9 – 5ish job and working for a living like a “regular” person.

At one point I started to apply for Unemployment, but never finished the paperwork.  It’s just not My Thing.

I met with a former boss.  Probably the ONLY former boss I’d work for again on purpose.  She had some job openings that we discussed.  One was way over my head, and the other was at a place I filled in for once and hated.  We decided to skip the work stuff and just have a visit, catch up, and have some laughs.

Another month of not knowing how the fuck to make money on the internet without feeling like a slime passed.  The panic grew.  The savings dwindled.  My creativity was suffering because of it.

In July I began to resign myself to the idea that getting a job wouldn’t be the end of all hope of having a good life.  I started doing more job searches, and applied for some shit here and there.  I worked on my mindset and became more comfortable with the idea of getting a job – turning it from a fate worse than death to a temporary crutch while I began earning money through non-traditional methods.

In August I almost got serious about finding a job.  I tested for a job with the City that didn’t pay much but looked fun and easy.  By the end of August, I was about to get serious.  I was going to email that former boss again and find out if she had anything.  I stalled.

On September 5th, the aforementioned former boss emailed me.  She said she had an opening and asked if I was interested.  This time, I was.  We met, talked, and now I’m in-processing.

Almost all of the things I hated about the place I’m going to work are gone.  My main problem was that I was filling in there temporarily and I was away from my team.  I loved my team.  We’ve all moved on, though.  Now there’s no team left to miss.  I’ve been away from them for years now.  New people, new experience.

It’s all about perspective.  Perspective is Power.  I swear, that’s my rallying cry or something.

During my sabbatical / hiatus / time off, I’ve made a lot of changes in myself.  I’ve studied, learned, experimented, met people, spent a LOT of time alone, read several books, taken quite a few online courses, joined some non-profit groups, and watched a ridiculous amount of YouTube videos.

I’m ready.  I’m ready to go back to work for a great company and enjoy nice, regular, fat paychecks (and other benefits) for a couple of years.  I’m going to spend time around people again (almost) every day.  I’m going to make some friends, revive my missing social life, and make the best of being a working person again.

The security I’ll have from being back in the fold of a large company that I love will free me from the stress and worry that have been taking over my life.  I’ll pay down my credit card debt, build my savings back up, and still have the freedom to keep learning about starting businesses.  Since it won’t feel so desperate, I’ll be more free to try and fail and try other things.

My blog posts will be more interesting because I’ll be living more and worrying less.

It certainly wasn’t easy getting here – to this place of not only being OKAY with going back to work, but looking forward to it – but I’m happy to be here.  I’m excited to see how I will handle having someplace to be for 40+ hours a week, after having almost complete control over my time for about 8 months now.

Hey, look!  I got my hopes up about getting a well paying job with little to no effort.