Why I unfollowed you on Facebook

You are my friend.  Not just a Facebook “friend,” but an actual person that I spend time with in the actual world on a regular basis.  I think you’re a great person, or I wouldn’t be friends with you.

However, the constant stream of bullshit you’re posting on Facebook lately is driving me absolutely fucking crazy!  So I quietly unfollowed you.

You used to post interesting, funny, and / or useful things on Facebook.  You still do, but I won’t see it unless I go to your page, which will probably not happen very often.  Something happened earlier this week.  Maybe your new laptop?  I don’t know, but omg, you’re killing me.  And I’m not interested in dying just yet.  So you’re gone.  Poof!  Outa my feed!

It kind of sucks because you post some hilarious shit!  You’re not my only friend, though.  And their occasional posts are being lost in your deluge of spam.  Chunks of spiced pork and ham, clogging up my news feed …

You’re out of control, my dear.

I use Facebook for people I actually (or almost, or simply want to) know, and Twitter for celebrity-types that amuse me.  One of the main things I use to determine who I follow on Twitter is their rough amount of posts per day.  I rarely post on Twitter.  I lurk.  I read.  I occasionally comment.  If someone posts more than a few times a day, Gone.

Facebook is what I use to keep in touch with friends, family, and coworkers (past and present).  You posted at least 11 things in the last hour.  That’s (at LEAST!) 11 things on top of the other 23+ things you posted earlier today.  Good lord.

Hmm … should I be concerned about you?  Should I tell you that you’re annoying the shit out of me?  No, that’s just silly.  It’s my problem, not yours, so I handled it on my side.  Are you feeling very lonely and just trying to connect with people?  It’s kind of late to call, and I’d rather hit my hand with a hammer than talk on the phone.

Yeah, I’m a shitty friend.  You’re not usually the needy type, though, which is one of the reasons why we’re friends.  I’m somewhat conflicted.  But not enough to do anything about it right now.

I’m tired.  I have my own shit I’m dealing with.  And I trust that, if you did want my attention, you’d simply ask for it.  That’s how it works in my world.  I don’t have the energy to deal with passive-aggressive behavior.  So I don’t.