What am I doing?

After a lot of consideration, and being advised to start a blog by several people, here it is.  Yay!?

I’m not sure what my focus will be yet.  For now I’m just pondering and thinking out loud in a public forum.  I’ve kept various sorts of journals for as long as I can remember.  Most were somewhat private, although I wonder if anything ever is.

On Friday, January 10, 2014, I was fired.  It wasn’t much of a surprise.  I had some health problems that kept me from working my “full 40 hours” each week for a few months.  Once I got that under control, my mom had her second cataract surgery.  We expected it to go as well as the first.  It didn’t.  She required a follow-up surgery in a different city, which is about an hour and a half drive from where we live.  Needless to say, her doctor visits kept me from those “full 40 hours,” which did not sit well with management.

I had a feeling I would need to make a choice.  It was an easy one.  I’ve had many jobs.  I only have one mother.  The job kind of blew anyway.

I am not a fan of the traditional 9 – 5 type job.  Although I could use at least a little structure, I don’t like set schedules.  I put up with them because I didn’t believe I had other options.  I have other options.

There are Always other options – we just don’t always know about them.

The happiest I’ve been recently was during an 8-week layoff from my most recent job.  I’d just purchased my first house and had a lot to do.  Once I finished moving and getting settled in, I started living what felt like “real” life.  I had the occasional appointment, but mostly went with my whims.  I was getting on a somewhat “normal” schedule of sleeping at night and being awake during the day.  I was working out at least twice a day and feeling Amazing!

When I was offered my job back I took it.  I wasn’t happy about it, but I thought I “had” to take it.  I did my best to handle it, while feeling every day that my life was elsewhere.  I thought about quitting and figuring out where that was.  I was too caught up in the status quo.  I tried to make myself believe in normalcy and mediocrity and I failed miserably.

As my supervisor was giving me the news, it was clear that he felt terrible.  I had to suppress my smiles.  He wasn’t being mean, as far as I am concerned.  He was granting me freedom.

Let’s see what I do with it this time.

 

One Response

  1. Now what am I doing? June 30, 2014 at 9:04 pm |

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